>> Why We Have This Emotion
Shyness is a safety system. We pause in uncertain social situations to avoid making costly mistakes, to gather more information, and to signal we're not a threat.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Reframe your nerves as excitement
- Arrive early, before groups form
- Talk to one new person
- Practice small talk (30 sec. a day)
- Aim for “good awkward” interactions
- Shift focus to learn about them
- Prepare safe conversation topics
Bad Ideas
- Wait until you feel confident
- Script “perfect” lines ahead of time
- Dwell on awkward past moments
- Hide in your phone, work, etc.
- Decline small, low-stakes invites
- Assume others are judging you
- Wait for others to approach first