Sort Through
Flip through until something stops you. You might identify the emotion in question, or you may realize there are several emotions at play at once. That's fine.
Read the Notes
Each card tells you what the emotion is and why we have it. This helps you confirm you've got the right card, and gives you a fuller picture of what you're working with.
Work With It
The back of each card gives you a short list of what tends to help and what usually makes things worse. Try a suggestion, or use it as a starting point for your own approach.
Accurately identifying what you're experiencing has been shown to reduce its intensity.
Sometimes the main emotion name isn't quite right. These are a few other common flavors and intensities of the same feeling.
A plain-language definition: what this emotion actually is, and when you're likely to feel it.
Emotions exist to help us (yes, even the unpleasant ones). Understanding why a feeling exists makes it easier to work with.
A few concrete suggestions for processing the emotion. Actions that move you forward rather than keeping you stuck.
Common reactions that tend to make things worse or keep you stuck. Seeing yourself in this list can be enlightening. Sometimes, we only recognize what we're going through by the bad ideas we've been chasing recently.
All of these emotions are already browsable for free at sortyouremotions.com. The physical deck exists because cards do things screens can't.
Compare and clarify
Are you feeling anxious? Worried? Afraid? Or perhaps dread? They're all similar, but they have different nuances and implications. Laying the cards out side by side can help you see the differences and zero in on what you're actually feeling.
Complicated pairings
On your roughest days, you might be dealing with a whole tangle of feelings at once. With physical cards, you can pull the relevant ones into a pile, see what you're actually working with, and decide which to address first.
Hand them to someone
Sometimes it's easier to point than explain. "I'm feeling this right now, and the line here about that. That's exactly it."
Take them with you
Bad days don't wait for you to be at home with good internet. The deck fits in a bag, and having it on hand when something hits means you don't have to sit with "I don't know what I'm feeling" any longer than necessary.
Each card is a field note on a single emotion. Concrete enough to recognize, nuanced enough to actually use.
When You Don't Know What You're Feeling
Sometimes you know something's wrong before you know what it is. These cards give you a structured way to narrow it down on your own. Flip through them when you have a quiet moment, and over time the recognition starts happening faster. You'll catch feelings in real time that used to slide past unnamed.
Parents & Caregivers
When your kid says "I don't know" or "nothing," they might genuinely not have the words yet. These cards give both of you a starting point that doesn't require anyone to already have the answer.
Alexithymia Support
Alexithymia makes it hard to identify feelings from the inside. The cards work around that by giving you something external to react to. Sometimes "this one, not that one" is easier than generating the answer from scratch.
Journaling & Reflection
If you keep a journal, this deck gives you a better answer than "I felt bad today." Flip through before you write and the words come faster, with more precision.
Before a Difficult Conversation
Knowing what you're actually feeling before you bring it up makes a real difference. Less "I feel bad" and more "I think I'm feeling overlooked, and here's what that means for me."
Shared Living, Shared Feelings
When you live with people, a shared vocabulary helps. It's easier to say "I'm feeling resentful, and here's what that means" than to hope someone decodes your energy correctly.
Several years ago, I was in the tail end of a failing marriage. My therapist asked me how I was holding up. I was clearly distraught, but I couldn't express what I was feeling. From across the room, he texted me an image of an emotion wheel in the hopes that I might be able to spot a good word for what I was feeling. The wheel was bright, colorful, full of things I might be feeling, and completely unhelpful.
This isn't the exact wheel he sent me, but it was something like
this
I read through the emotions listed. I knew all these words, but what was the difference between disappointed and let down? And betrayed, for that matter. I mean, that's a bit dramatic, isn't that like, Julius Caesar territory? I was hurt, sure, but not "15 knives in my literal back" hurt.
The wheel wasn't what I needed in that moment. What I was looking for was more like a... spotter's guide. Except instead of helping me identify edible mushrooms or see the subtle differences between different kinds of finches, I needed something that could help me recognize emotions in the wild. Label them. Tell them apart. Appreciate what they were doing. Understand if they were rare or dangerous. And most importantly, what I should do about them?
Yup. This is AI. Because the book I was looking for just didn't exist.
I looked for dictionaries, websites, writer's guides, thesauruses (or is that thesauri?), textbooks, self-help manuals, and more. I found plenty of resources. Many of them provided helpful pieces of what I was looking for, but none of them provided quite what I needed.
So, after years of notes, spreadsheets, references, and prototypes, I realized I needed a few things:
- It had to be something I could take with me
- It needed definitions and regulation strategies
- It needed to let me see and compare more than one emotion at a time
And so Sort Your Emotions was born.
"Hey dad, can I borrow your emotion cards?"
— My 13 year-old daughter
(after a long day in Middle School)
I need these for talking with my husband. Like now. Like yesterday. Like 5 years ago.
— My coworker
I need a copy of these for my office. I have patients who could use these.
— My therapist
// Coming Soon
Launching on Kickstarter
The Sort Your Emotions card deck is heading to Kickstarter. Launch details coming soon.
Browse All 99 Emotions