>> Why We Have This Emotion
Pity is empathy's colder, more distant cousin. It notices suffering without sharing, cares without connecting, and leaves the power gap between you and the other person exactly where it was.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Acknowledge others' pain
- Empower them to make choices
- “Am I seeing them as an equal?”
- Ask them what you can do to help
- Listen to their story, no assumptions
- Practice shifting from “poor them” to “how can I respect them?”
Bad Ideas
- Assume you know what’s best
- Give unwanted advice or “fixes”
- Treat them as helpless or childlike
- Make jokes about how “sad” they are
- Help them just to soothe your ego
- Ignore their personal boundaries “because they need help”