>> Why We Have This Emotion
Jealousy motivates us to protect our status and relationships. It cues us to be vigilant, seek reassurances, and take corrective actions to prevent us from losing our relationships.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Share your feelings calmly
- State a clear need/boundary
- Clarify relationship agreements
- Ask if your expectations are fair
- Identify the specific threat you feel
- Check evidence vs. assumptions
- Consider therapy if it’s recurring
Bad Ideas
- Flirt or cheat to try to “get even”
- Snoop, accuse, or isolate others
- Make comparisons and ultimatums
- Forbid normal friendship with others
- Treat jealousy itself as proof of guilt
- Test them to “prove” their loyalty
- Make threats to control behavior