>> Why We Have This Emotion
Humiliation is a status-drop alarm that helps us avoid repeating our missteps. It motivates us to repair with apologies, improved behavior, changing social ties, or just lying low for a while.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Label the exact moment
- Normalize via others’ gaffes
- Wait before responding publicly
- Self-soothe with slow, deep breaths
- This is an episode, not your identity
- Plan a step to make repairs
- Debrief with a safe peer
Bad Ideas
- Self-down for screwing up
- Replay the event obsessively
- Deflect blame to avoid discomfort
- Make drastic, reactionary changes
- Overshare the story for sympathy
- Over-apologize repeatedly
- Vanish completely