>> Why We Have This Emotion
Humiliation alerts us to status drops to help us avoid repeating missteps. It motivates us to repair with apologies, improve our behavior, change social ties, or just lie low for a while.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Label the exact moment
- Normalize via others’ gaffes
- Wait before responding publicly
- Self-soothe with slow, deep breaths
- This is an episode, not your identity
- Plan a step to make repairs
- Debrief with a safe peer
Bad Ideas
- Beat yourself up for your mistakes
- Replay the event obsessively
- Deflect blame to avoid discomfort
- Make drastic, reactionary changes
- Overshare the story for sympathy
- Over-apologize repeatedly
- Vanish completely