>> Why We Have This Emotion
Guilt motivates us to repair the social bonds that we've damaged. Guilt lets us know that we care about our impact on others, and it drives us to make amends and change our ways.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Apologize in actions, not just words
- Make amends for any damage
- Forgive yourself after making it right
- Learn from it going forward
- Talk to someone you trust about it
- Remind yourself that your behavior is not your whole identity
Bad Ideas
- Punish yourself endlessly
- Avoid those you wronged forever
- Make apologies about YOUR comfort
- Convince yourself it's not your fault
- Let guilt spiral into shame
- Make gestures instead of repairs
- Assume you must be a bad person