>> Why We Have This Emotion
Cringe is a secondhand social alarm. Watching others get it wrong can be just as uncomfortable as getting it wrong yourself. Cringe lets us learn from the errors and missteps of others.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Look away, the cringe is doing its job
- Laugh with them if they're in on it
- Check whether they need help
- Let it pass, remind yourself that their reputation is theirs to manage
- Learn from it by asking which norms and values are important to you
Bad Ideas
- Intervene when they didn't ask you to
- Make it all about YOUR discomfort
- Continually remind them of it
- Mock them to handle your feelings
- Assume they feel as bad as you do
- Apologize for them without getting their permission