>> Why We Have This Emotion
Contempt signals that someone is breaking norms or that they aren't worth our time, so we steer clear. Inside, contempt shuts down empathy, making it easier for us to disengage.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Identify the value that feels violated
- Verify facts to separate out rumors
- Separate behavior from the person
- Set boundaries for their behavior
- Look for a point of shared humanity
- Choose where to invest your energy
- Limit contact if you feel unsafe
Bad Ideas
- Label them as “less than human”
- Judge them by their worst moment
- Shame or humiliate them publicly
- Harass, dox, or threaten them
- Reject nuance, context, or change
- Justify cruelty since they “deserve it”
- Refuse to simply disengage