>> Why We Have This Emotion
Betrayal discourages us from relying on untrustworthy partners. It improves our memory for when trust has been violated, and pushes us to protect our resources and relationships.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Name the act and how it broke trust
- Pause on big decisions, if you can
- Set new boundaries and assess
- Reality check with a friend
- Sort out facts from guesses
- Ask concrete follow up questions
- Pick a safe setting for confrontation
Bad Ideas
- Confront while furious, with no plans
- Stalk their online activity obsessively
- Numb with alcohol or risky hookups
- Stay just to prove that you're strong
- Verify loyalty with traps and tests
- Leak private information in revenge
- Generalize that no one is trustworthy