>> Why We Have This Emotion
Foreboding joy adds caution to our celebrations. It can be useful in volatile environments, but mostly it saps what joys we've earned by fixating on future woes (real or imagined).
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Name both: "I feel joy and fear"
- Take some time to savor the good
- Note three specific things going well
- List actual risks, not vague disasters
- Plan a small safeguard for real risks
- Allow yourself to enjoy this real moment of joy, even if it's brief
Bad Ideas
- Assume a crash always follows joy
- Believe you'll "jinx it" by celebrating
- Downplay your good news
- Pre-grieve losses you anticipate
- Apologize for being happy
- Mentally rehearse tragedies
- Over-prepare for catastrophe